Why I hate you
by BaileyBoom
Summary: Fionna pretty much hates men after a horrible rejection from Gumball. She spends her days wandering in the forest and looking for trouble when she meets the lazy but straight forward turd face, Marshall Lee.


**Hello hello, welcome homies. please review and fav and all that magic please, give me feedback to become better. i hope you enjoy.**

**Why I hate you.**

There's a lot Fionna can't handle in life, like feelings for example. Couples, relationships, and boys make her nauseous and maybe that's why she spends her time walking around aimlessly in the forest looking for trouble. Cake used to come as well but then she got married and had kids, it makes Fionna sick. They talk occasionally but the whole thing gives her headaches.

Fionna finds herself at a mountain, just above Aah. She can see everything, Gumballs flamboyant castle and the Ice Queen's puny castle in comparison. Fionna never liked Gumball, it's not the truth, though she tells it to people. Fionna spends her time at the mountain everyday from then on, hating on the castle because maybe guys in pink are gay and don't like to return feelings to 15 year olds. In the next three years she goes for just the natural beautiful of aah. She pushed aside all thoughts of gumball when she was 16. She's 18 now and not much has changed in the past few years although she wished something would. She wants to have more friends but all she ends up having is Finn, her neighbor, and Marceline her pretentious roommate. They fill up her endless time but they don't entertain her as much as Cake used to when they went adventuring.

Fionna walks through one of the trails she's never been to and comes across a small cottage where creatures usually lurk, the real ugly and creppy kind, the ones Fiona loves to scare and pick fights with. She walks in, scraping her feet on the pathetic doormat that says beware, I will kill you. Funny, she thinks and enters the cottage with ease and confidence. She heads to the fridge first to deface any food inside but all she finds are fresh apples and no apple juice. Not corresponding, she thinks, if you have apples but no apple juice then what is the point really. She finds a few cans of cherry soda far in the back of the fridge and turns to see a very amused boy.

"Nice butt." He teases, his feet propped onto the table, relaxed.

"Excuse you." She points her sword at his neck but he doesn't budge. This is the part where you're supposed to be scared, she screams in her head.

"Excuse you, this is my house you creeper." He pulls an apple from his pocket and just throws it up in the air like there's nothing to be afraid of when theres a girl who's pointing a sword at your neck.

He has a point though, what is she doing looking for trouble when no one ever wants to fight a teenaged girl with a bunny hat.

"You're stupid." She ends up saying after contemplating her life.

"I don't think so, I'm sort of the wise guy that everyone hates because he's so hot and smart, like you're lucky to be alive and in my presence right now." He throws the apple at her but she slices it with her sword awkwardly because that was way too easy.

"You're really vain aren't you, lonely guy like yourself probably spends his time looking in the mirror." And that makes the guy loose his cool.

"I should kill you." He growls and Fionna finally concludes that this guy is a vampire, because vampires have the shortest temper.

"Go ahead buddy, I'd like to see a turd face like yourself try." And she gets into her fighting stance almost immediately.

"I thought you were just going to run away like the others, I'm really lazy and I don't feel like fighting anyone for the next century." He whines and reaches for an apple but fails to do so because, life struggles.

Fionna's left with her mouth hanging open. What's going on here, she thinks. This is the weirdest situation she's ever been in. A vampire usually fights anyone and everything, they have low tolerance for living things. "You're a sad excuse for a vampire."

"Tell me something I don't know, you and my dad should hold a _Marshall Lee the saddest excuse for a vampire king_ party. I'm pretty sure everyone would attend." He sighs and gets up, and sucking off the apples color with ease.

"Well... this is awkward, I'm going to go... now." Fionna awkwardly steps away from the vampire king with daddy issues.

"Bye, come again soon, I'll be here all week, literally." He floats off to his room with the bad taste of nostalgic daddy flashbacks.

When Fionna gets home she isn't too happy to see Marceline throwing a party, Fionna was very much looking forward to going to bed when she got home.

"Fionna are you going to have a drink or just stand here?" Marceline tugs Fionna to the kitchen with a great amount of force considering Fionna was extra tired from her hike home.

"I'm really tired, I was looking forward to going to bed but with all the noise that your guests are making I might as well just stay up and suffer." Fionna drags on with a monotone, she's usually straight forward with Marceline because she's sort of oblivious to sarcasm, scratch that, oblivious to anything Fionna says.

"Lovely, see you around?" With those words or comfort Marceline magnificently twirls off into the crowd of dancing candy people.

"Yeah okay." Fionna sighs, this is a sad excuse for a party though. The music is terrible, its just a beat with cinnamon bun trying to beat box and sing at the same time, truth be told it's worse than singing walruses.

Marshall isn't too far from Fionna, she really intrigued him and well Marshall really doesn't have much to do but burden everyone he meets. "Hey." He says nonchalantly.

"What are you doing here?" She's not even startled, boo.

"I followed you because I was bored and you're pretty." He shrugs.

She wants to puke, compliments are sappy and vomit inducing. "Good excuse, that'll win you a girl."

"I am known for my poetic lines, like Hey did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" He winks.

"You did not invent that, that's the line my great great great grandfather used to swoon my great great great grandmother." Fionna crosses her arms and squints at him.

"I did little kid, I'm older than you and all of your ancestors. I've been alive since the beginning of time." Marshall drapes an arm around her shoulder and everything feels small, Fionna feels shorter beside him and nauseous again. Her palms are sweating and her heart is jumping, she's suddenly self conscious.

This can't be good.


End file.
